is important to make sure students grow up to be healthy, active adults. Every one of those small towns are stuck in the sociopolitical past, so your students will get first hand experience of what should be considered Oklahoma history.Ībout a third of Oklahoma children are overweight or obese, which means P.E. Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on enough Oklahoma History books for each student, just drop your class off anywhere west of Weatherford. That is all the music education you need to be a cultured Oklahoman. You can buy a CD of Reba McEntire’s 50 greatest hits on Amazon for $19.88. And you can’t prove me wrong because your lack of math education probably left you without the ability to calculate or interpret percentages. I just increased your math competency by 20%. For example, before your algebra final write math equations between your fingers rather than on your palm because it is easier to hide.īoom. I say instead of investing time and money to increase students’ competency in math, teach them smarter ways to cheat. The art has to go in a pot of boiling water for lunch.īeing that nearly 40% of Oklahoma high school graduates must take a math remediation course during their first year of college, many public schools are designing and implementing programs that aim to boost students’ ability to calculate a decent tip on a bar tab without using their phones’ calculators. Unfortunately, the kids won’t be able to bring it home to show their parents because we have to cut some corners. Just stock up on a half-dozen boxes, add a little water or spit to the cheese powder to make glue, and you have all the necessary components for making macaroni art. Thankfully, a box of macaroni at Aldi is only going to run you about 65 cents. That’s all you would have to pay for him to give you his opinions on evolution and how it don’t make no sense for him to come from no damn monkey when he ain’t that hairy. Or you can give my uncle an emergency teaching certification and a six-pack of Coors. You could pay new teachers $32,000 per year to do that.
DAMMIT MS.FRIZZLE HOW TO
Naturally, the story went viral and received a bunch of national attention, so to keep newly emergency certified teachers from also becoming freeloading panhandlers, I have prepared a guide on how to cut corners in every subject to save money in the classroom.Įarlier this year Oklahoma lawmakers attempted to pass a bill that would allow science education teachers to state their opinions on scientific theory in the classroom. Being that these new teachers are not necessarily required to have training in education, they may not know exactly what they are getting into when school starts up in a few weeks.įor example, one Tulsa teacher resorted to "panhandling" to buy school supplies for her classroom. Last week over 900 emergency teaching certifications were approved. Things are so bad that we cannot afford to educate our educators. It's been another stellar couple of weeks for the Oklahoma education crisis.
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